Jewels and I arrived at Children’s Medical Center Dallas on a Monday evening. Well, she arrived on a Monday afternoon after a VIP helicopter ride from Oklahoma Children’s Hospital, and I made in a few hours later via my soccer mom mobile after racing down I35 (as safely as possible, of course). We knew it was a possibility that we were transferring to Dallas, but I had no idea for how long, what we’d have as far as resources and how quickly we’d get settled. So, I packed enough for a weekend, and I planned to buy what I ended up needing after I got the lay of the land.

Was this the best plan for a public school teacher who just left her career and now had no income? Probably not. But it’s where we were.

Little did I know that Project Mom Bags would come to the rescue and help me put into focus what Sparkle Strong could be. They provided a spacious tote full of toiletries, comfort items and more that would come in handy for life in the CICU. My favorite was a claw clip that I still have because the amount of times I just needed my hair out of my face but could never find a hair tie was numerous.

We hadn’t received anything similar during our two stays at Oklahoma Children’s, and it was invaluable. I knew immediately I wanted to help families at home in the way PMB helped us. We began curating our kits with ideas from our Project Mom tote, fellow CICU families and our own experience.

Nourishment

• Packaged snacks – protein bars, sandwich crackers, meat sticks, etc.
• Gum
• Candy – some days you just need chocolate
• Drink mixes – to boost your water
• Reusable tumbler

We’ve been so lucky to receive donations from BUBBL’R and Chomps to fill our kits this year! If you are or know someone who’d like to make a consumable donation, please get in touch here.

Comfort

• Fuzzy blanket – The hospital does have linens, typically, but a soft, warm blanket can do wonders for your nap.
• Slippers – for comfort while you’re in the room
• Phone stand – to avoid dropping your phone on your face or carpal tunnel from all the Googling

How about the Sparkle Strong Sibling Kit?

Glass children is the phenomenon of siblings to medically complex or special needs children feeling as though they are “looked through” due to the high needs of their brother or sister. Alicia Maples drew attention to this and stated, “We are called glass children, because our parents are so consumed with the needs of our brothers and sisters that when they look at us, they look right through us as though we’re made of glass.”

We tried as hard as possible to keep this from occurring during our time as a heart family. This was a challenge and can never be perfect, but through our village we were able to keep a bit of normalcy while we were close to home and even once we moved to Dallas. We carry this into our mission at Sparkle Strong by being part of the village and offering sibling kits.

For our siblings, we gift:

There’s a myth I need to break open — maybe for you, but definitely for me.

It’s the myth that all this sparkle equals strength. I know, from the founder of Sparkle Strong, this seems like it’s getting a little at odds, but hear me out. It’s the myth that a cute ICU tote bag or curled lashes in the face of chaos mean “she’s got this.” That a color-coded med tracker and a perfectly packed hospital go-bag say more than the panic behind my eyes ever could.

This is where Survival Glam lives.

I coined the phrase mid-scroll, mid-crack, mid-collapse, and it landed like a truth bomb coated in lip gloss. Survival Glam is the name I gave to the phenomenon where trauma, caregiving and chaos are masked into looking like you’ve got your shit together. It’s not just a look. It’s a whole performance of resilience.

And it’s exhausting.

Let’s Just Be Honest for a Second

You’re going through hard shit. We’re going through hard shit.

Not just “busy” or “overwhelmed.” I’m talking ICU monitors, impossible choices, grief in the checkout line, your kid asking questions you don’t have answers for. The kind of hard that doesn’t fit in an Instagram caption. The kind you don’t even always have language for.

And I know — you’ve trained yourself to smile through it. To say, “We’re good! Just staying strong.” Me, too.

Guess what? You don’t have to do that here.

You’re allowed to look like what you’ve lived through.
You can be messy and still matter.
You can say “I’m not okay” and still be strong.

But Here’s Where It Gets Messy and Kind of Beautiful

Because sometimes the sparkle isn’t just a cover. Sometimes it’s a coping mechanism that works. You start the fundraiser, you launch the nonprofit, you drop off care kits, you write the reflection post. Not because you’re pretending to be okay, but because creating something meaningful helps you feel okay. And maybe it is coping. But maybe it’s also contribution. Maybe you’re transmuting your trauma into something useful. Something generous. Something real.

So, no, I don’t think serving, inspiring, tasking well is the problem. I think the danger comes when it’s the only place you’re allowed to exist. When it becomes the only identity people recognize. When being “the strong one” becomes a performance instead of a choice.

Here’s the question I’m learning to ask myself: Am I offering this from overflow or obligation?

Because doing good can heal. But it shouldn’t hollow you out. And that’s the thing no one talks about — how easily doing good can tip into doing harm. Not to others. To yourself.

The Tipping Point of Survival Glam

I started Sparkle Strong from a place of heartbreak and grit. I bought the bags. I stocked the snacks. I designed the logos and filed the paperwork. I did it all while living on savings and Disney commissions with a garage full of classroom supplies I walked away from when I left my teaching job to keep my medically fragile foster daughter alive.

When you’re navigating life in the CICU, it can feel like so much is out of your hands. I know that feeling deeply. In the early days with Baby Jewels, I found myself clinging to the few things I could control—and pouring my energy into making them count.

That’s what this space is for.

On the Sparkle Strong blog, you’ll find practical, actionable (and dare I say, fun?!) tips to make CICU life a little brighter. From decorating your hospital room, hyping up your nurses and creating small celebrations that bring big joy—we’re here for the things you can do. Things that give you back a little power, a little peace and a little sparkle.

This isn’t a place that denies the hard stuff—we hold space for the sorrow and frustration, too. But in a world that can be overwhelmingly serious, sometimes choosing joy is its own kind of protest. And healing.

Sparkle Strong is about giving a burst of brightness and validation in the uncertainty of CICU life. Whether you’re in the thick of it or standing beside someone who is, we’re so glad you’re here.

There’s so much good stuff ahead, and I hope it helps you feel just a little more capable—and a little less alone.